CONSIGNMENT: IC INBOX

[equivalences]

ELRIC.EDWARD@cdc.org
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email | audio calls | face-to-face appointments

Comments

[anytime]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

emails

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

do you really call these emails

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

so uncool

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

and who said i have to be asleep when everyone else is asleep

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

dont these 72 hour days fuck up anyone elses internal clocks mine is about to fly off the handle and get caught on a distant tree branch
you wont be able to retrieve that shit without a ladder

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FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

Isn't that what they are?? [ he has no idea. he's from before computers were even a thing. ]

FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

You stop whining and get used to them. And then you suck it up and go to sleep at a decent time so you don't end up bothering people who want to sleep!

FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

Go to bed, Dave.

[anytime]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

has no one introduced you to the idea of texting

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

or cell phones

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

get with the times man
you spend too much time sleeping and this is what you miss

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

anyway its easy for you to get in the dad zone and tell people to go to bed when youve got like
weird alchemy shit powers to make a bed whenever you want

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

some of us got to fight hulking tent beasts to get anywhere meaningful

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FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

Aren't texting and emails the same thing? [ what is a cell phone?? and he can't make a bed if he doesn't have the material for it!!! ]

FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

What? You're having trouble with you tent?

[anytime]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

emails dont have a character limit

[Or at least not such a short one.]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

maybe

[...]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

yes

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

whoever designed this pos deserves to get splashed in the face with a cold pitcher of piss and kneed in the balls

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[ ????

Turns out he has no idea what an email is after all. ]

FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

No need to go that far....

FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

But you seriously can't do it? Just how useless are you?

[anytime]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

fuck you lan fan told me you couldnt do it either

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

after an hour

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

at least i never wasted an hour of my life in such a ridiculous way

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FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

Shut up! It's been a long time since I've had to wrangle a tent!!!!

[anytime]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

ok then lets see your tent wrangling skills now that youve had practice

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FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

Is that your way of asking for help?

[anytime]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

depends
are you actually going to help

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[ yes ... ]

FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

Who knows? Maybe if I get something out of it.

[anytime]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

ill give you a page of the dagger comic im working on

[equivalences]

FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org

You're making a whole comic?

[ He was actually on his way to help anyway, because he is nice ... deep down. Now he gets to laugh at Dagger too, so this works out. ]

[anytime]

FROM: strider.dave@cdc.org

its a 12 part series

[Or however many parts he does before he gets bored.

Dave is actually on a branch above whichever platform he's supposed to stay, with something vaguely reminiscent of a tent below his feet. He's just chilling up there with his blackglass, like climbing ain't no thing (and it isn't; he flew).]

action!

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[ That's some dedication.

Eventually, Ed moves to Dave's tree and climbs onto his platform. He expects to find Dave but all he sees is a flattened pile of waterproof cloth and some metal poles. It makes him wonder if Dave had even tried ... to make tents happen. After some looking around, he finally spots the guy lounging on a tree branch. ]

What are you doing up there? You'll fall. [ is he in permanent dad-voice now. how does he stop being in dad-voice??? but yeah ed doesn't know about the flying. ]

[anytime]

[Dave...sort of tried? He tried a little harder than he did the first time. Maybe. Ok, maybe he tried a little less.

Either way, Ed has entered the Dad Zone. Dave gives him a faintly incredulous look, swinging both legs over the side of the branch.]

How do you know. Did someone equip you with the ability to see the future.

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[ And Ed will remain in the Dad-zone until he's the one needing ... a dad ... also how old is dave ....

Ed rests his hands on his hips. ] It's just a logical inference. [ Accidents happen. If Dave did fall, there was a chance he would just plop back down onto his platform. But there's also the chance he ... wouldn't.

And the distance from here to the ground below is quite a considerable one. Anyway, back to the tent. ] Come down here. I'll show you how it's done.

[anytime]

[Thanks to Weird Time Shit, Dave turned sixteen less than two months ago... So Ed is a little older. Lucky him.

Dave just jumps. It's not too far of a drop (several feet), but he kills some of his speed through Nifty Flight Powers and...well, his landing defies physics. It doesn't shake the platform and he doesn't roll to absorb the shock; he just lands like he stepped off a staircase.]

With your weird science magic or like a genuine, hardworking member of the proletariat.

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[ There was something so bizarrely light-footed about that jump. The platform should at least be wobbling a little, but it doesn't.

The way Dave lands doesn't appear to make sense either. It's almost weightless. Ed assumes it had something to do with his abilities. Almost everyone in camp had something special about them. ]

It'd make no sense to show you something you can't even do. [ So yeah, he's doing it to old fashioned way. ] What was that just now? It's like you weighed nothing at all.

[anytime]

Oh, I can fly. [Said like it's the most normal thing in the world. He stoops to yank out a couple of the poles and holds them up next to Ed.]

Called it. [He says it decisively.] Knew these suckers were taller than you.

[I have no idea what kind of tents the CDC distributes so I can't...fact check...but I'm rolling with it.]

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[ That comes as quite a surprise, because he can't say he's met many people with the ability to fly. That must be how Dave got up there on the branch. His astonishment is cut short when the short joke is made. gdit ]

Why, you--!! [ Ed snatches the pole from him. ] Don't think I won't push you off this platform!

[anytime]

You'd only push me off the platform because it wouldn't do shit.

[Besides impair Dave's dignity, but he leaves that part out.]

Anyway, I'm just stating the facts. Is that what gave you such a hard time when you got your first tent.

[He leans over to start picking up the canvas. What a pain.]

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[ It's true. He wouldn't push Dave off if it would actually hurt him. ]

You're such a pest! My height has nothing to do with it! I should just leave you to sleep in the cold!

[anytime]

But then you'd have to live with it on your conscience if I died of exposure.

[He says this like it's a completely reasonable argument. Which maybe it is, but less so when he's being an annoying shit.]

Also, dude, keep your voice down or you'll wake everyone up. [Because he was so considerate about waking Ed up...] Or call down a new wave of animal attacks.