edward "tiny bara" elric. (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
equivalences) wrote2014-12-03 03:26 pm
equivalences) wrote2014-12-03 03:26 pm
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ELRIC.EDWARD@cdc.org
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ELRIC.EDWARD@cdc.org
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email | audio calls | face-to-face appointments
no subject
Sure, sure.
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
Wait.
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
Have you ever had a girlfriend?
no subject
Is that any of your business?!?
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
I'm a man of science! As if I've got time for that crap. [ Another embarrassing text brought to you by E.Elric. ]
no subject
You asked about my love life, why can't I ask about yours?!
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
That's pathetic. You don't think anyone actually believes that, do you?
no subject
I didn't ask about it!!!!
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
Shut up! How should I know why girls don't like me? They're weird!
no subject
Yes you did!
[ he doesn't actually remember... maybe ed didn't
oh, he kinda feels bad now... ]
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
I won't argue with that. Girls are pretty weird.
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
Have you ever liked one?
no subject
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
That's ... none of your business too.
no subject
What's her name?
no subject
I said it's none of your business!!!!!
[ After a pause. ]
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
Winry. We were kids. [ He totally doesn't still like her, nope. ]
no subject
I'm just trying to help you!!!
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
Do you still know her?
[ for someone as dense as this guy is, he's actually reading between the lines pretty well right now.. ]
no subject
Yeah. We're still friends.
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
She was my automail mechanic back home.
no subject
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
I think I can help you.
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
With how to talk to girls, I mean.
[ Hoe don't do it
HE DONT KNOW SHIT............................................................... WHY WOULD YOU EVER ]
no subject
Ed regards this offer with some mild interest, but he makes a point not to sound too eager. He doesn't want to look like a pathetic loser. ]
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
Yeah? How do you plan to do that?
no subject
How else? By teaching you, stupid.
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
It'd be a lot easier since you're just talking to another guy.
[ nothing about this is homo. nothing at all ]
no subject
You're gonna --
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
be the girl?
no subject
DOnT
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
SAY IT LIKE THAT WHATS WRONG WITH YUO
no subject
THAT'S JUST WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE!!!
no subject
THATS BECAUSE YOUR BRAIN IS MESSED UP
no subject
WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING ]
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
Nevermind, forget what I said!!
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
Okay. How do you talk to girls, then?
idek
First I have to see how YOU talk to girls so I know where you need improvement.
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
I hope you'll take this training seriously... it's not easy.
no subject
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
Did you really just call it 'training'?
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
I talk to them the same way I talk to everyone else. [ rudely. ]
no subject
Well, what else is it? Calling it "practice" makes it even worse.
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
Seriously? No wonder you have so much trouble.
no subject
FROM: elric.edward@cdc.org
What?! What's wrong with the way I talk to people?!
no subject
Where do I even begin?
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
Anyway, to talk to girls you have to be really polite and stuff. More gentlemanly.
no subject
You mean I can't just say what I think?
wtf...
Girls are different!
FROM: zuko@cdc.org
Say the wrong thing, and it's all over. Sometimes forever.
WTF
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